A Legendary Crossover
by theoutsider101342
Summary: Involves laser tag, a drunk Raj, Barney battling for high score, Sheldon battling Wil Wheaton, Marshall being terrorized by little kids, Leonard trying to impress Penny, Lily showing off some intense combat moves, and more!


**A crossover fic featuring the Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother**

**Set during season 1 of TBBT and season 4 of HIMYM**

**Spoilers: References to earlier episodes**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother **

* * *

"I don't know, Barney, this place looks pretty big. It's expensive too!" Marshall gestured to the board overhead.

"Dude, chill. This is one of the best laser tag places in the US! It's what we came here for and-"

"Actually, we came here to vacation, check out the beach, stay at a resort, drink smoothies with pieces of chopped fruit…" Marshall stared into space longingly.

"Whatever. This is what you're really here for. Forget all that romantic crap Lily goes on about. Look at this place! It's way better than some tropical resort for couples with vegan menus and non alcoholic drinks." Barney grabbed Marshall's shoulders and turned him around to gaze in wonder and amazement at the huge colorful room of pure laser tagging awesomeness.

"You're here to be my Bro for the night and help me beat these losers. I hope to work my way up the record board all night until victory." Barney put his hands on his hips and gazed at the giant board all lit up and hanging from the ceiling.

Marshall sighed and got out his cell phone. He had better call the others to see if they were any closer to arriving.

Oh, and on a side note, Marshall hated Laser Tag.

He was terrible at it because at 6'4", he was like a giant moving target.

2) Everyone at the other laser tag place was mean. Especially the kids. They all came at him in swarms. It truly was terrifying. Also, Barney (not surprisingly), managed to make mortal enemies with every regular there. It was to the point where people would hide out and ambush them, leave threatening notes, chase and at one point tackle Barney (and Marshall) while they were using their tickets to order pretzels.

Usually Ted was the one to be Barney's Bro or wingman for the night, but Ted had decided to go get a massage and face mask at the spa with Lily and Robin instead. The bastard. They had planned to meet up with them around seven and join in on the laser tag battle.

Meanwhile, he was waiting in line with Barney before entering what would soon be a serious survival situation.

Leonard led the way into the huge building. As soon as he opened the door, bright multi colored flashing lights blinded him and loud thumping music filled the room. Howard and Raj followed after Penny with Sheldon coming last.

"Whoa…" Raj gaped at the room.

"Have you guys ever been here before?" Penny almost had to yell over the music. Bon Jovi's "You give love a bad name" was blasting through the speakers.

"We've actually never been laser tagging before." Howard said and gave a pointed look at Sheldon. "If you can guess why…"

Leonard sighed. "Sheldon only likes paint ball. He says laser tag is stupid."

Sheldon spoke up. "It is stupid. The vests don't work properly and-"

"He just doesn't like it because Wil Wheaton beat him last time and currently holds best record." Raj cut in.

Sheldon glared at Raj. "The game is completely unfair. He was cheating anyway. He had me stuck in a corner while him and his little army of Wesley Crushers kept shooting me every time my vest lit back up. And you just ran off, you traitor."

Raj faltered slightly. "I was being attacked too! And then I had to pee! And I there's apparently very strict rules when it comes to peeing in the laser tag room."

"Ew." Penny made a face and turned back to Leonard.

"So is he playing or not? We're gonna miss the next game if you guys stand here arguing."

"He's playing. Let's get in line."

They stood single file in the crowded room. Leonard was in the front, behind two tall men that appeared to be in their fifties with graying hair. Standing in front of the older men were two younger guys, one quite tall with brown hair and the other one shorter with blond hair. The tall one was making a gross out face to something the other man was showing him on his phone.

"Ew…why did I _need_ to see that, Barney?"

The blond man just laughed and pointed at the screen excited. "What are you talking about? That was like the most awesome thing ever!" He kept gesturing wildly to the phone.

"How is a monkey picking it's nose and shoving a booger in a tourist's face, awesome? That was just…ughh." The man shuddered and batted the phone away.

"No more gross videos or you're removing me from your email list just like Lily. And that was with good reason too."

"Okay. What I sent her was pretty disturbing, but she totally overreacted by not talking to me for a whole month."

"Speaking of which, they should be here any minute now. How long till the game starts?"

They both looked around the room for the board.

One of the older men in front of Leonard spoke up. "About ten minutes."

"Oh, thanks." The blond man replied. He paused as if considering something and turned back to the men.

"You guys are going to be competing too?"

"We're in line aren't we?" one them replied.

"Oh I was just wondering. I mean, considering…" he said

"Considering what?"

The older men crossed their arms and stood taller in unison.

The tall brown haired man smiled and shot the blond a warning look.

"Oh, nothing. No problem. I've seen an old lady in the last laser tag place."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means nothing. Nothing." The blond's friend cut in. "He means to say that laser tag is awesome, right? Letting little old ladies play…" He gave a nervous laugh. "So are you guys going to try and win something? I'm personally hoping to win that stuffed Ewok over-"

"Yes." One of the men cut him off. "We're going to beat the high score."

The blond man suddenly laughed.

"What a coincidence?! Me and my buddy, Marshall here, are kinda experts." He put on what had to be the fakest smile Leonard had ever seen (well, aside from Sheldon's).

"We think we got a shot as well. In fact, we _know_ we got a shot." He gave them a challenging stare and continued. "Forgive me, you guys look to be in okay shape but, aren't you a little _old_ to play laser tag? You don't want to pull a hip or something."

The brown haired man gave a nervous laugh like it was just a joke. "Barney." He whispered and tapped the blond on the shoulder. The blond man just shrugged him off.

Leonard couldn't see the men's expressions, but he guessed they weren't happy because the blond's friend went pale and his eyes widened. The blond didn't look at all troubled. He just maintained a cocky grin.

The two older men stood even taller, trying to be as intimidating as possible. The men made the brown haired man look short and they practically towered over the blond who was now having trouble keeping his pose. He slowly and casually walked backwards to stand in the shadow of his buddy, while still trying to maintain his cool expression.

"You better watch it." One of the men said. "You ain't even finishing the game if you make us you're competition, little guy."

The blond man immediately bristled, dropped his smile, and opened his mouth.

Before Barney could say anything to upset the men further, Marshall put his arm around him and pulled him back. "Hey, we're cool, man. No hard feelings. He's just kidding with you. I'm sure you're younger than you look." Marshall smiled politely, not realizing what he'd just said. Barney stifled a laugh before catching the looks on the men's faces. They both looked kinda pissed. Barney snapped his mouth shut and changed his expression to innocence within a second.

Luckily, Ted, Robin, and Lily walked through the door and started to head over.

Marshall quickly beckoned them over and turned himself and Barney around, ignoring the men.

Ted was busy chatting away about how good the face mask was and how soft it made his skin.

Barney rolled his eyes and looked around the room. His gaze landed on a group of nerdy looking people all staring at him. They all quickly looked away at the same time. Barney noticed the pretty blond in the middle and considered walking over, but the doors were being opened and people were being let through. Marshall handed everyone their tickets and pulled Barney with him and into a dark room.

Barney figured this was the introduction and rules part. This was so boring. The laser tag place in New York used to make him attend it every time for at least a year. He supposed they figured the reason he kept breaking the rules was because he forgot them or something. Maybe they were just trying to imprint them on his brain. Brainwashing…not the first time that had been attempted on him. Especially with his job. Anyway, they eventually gave up.

Meanwhile, Raj was feeling rather tipsy. He had drank a little too much before they left so he would be able to talk, should he have to team up with Penny or some other woman. He realized it probably wasn't good that he was drunk while playing laser tag, but luckily nobody seemed to notice yet.

He burped accidently and the blond woman sitting next to him looked over, said "ew", and walked off to the other side of the room.

"Whoops!" he said and giggled, earning a suspicious glance from Penny.

He leaned against the wall so the room would stay still. It was always so annoying when the room kept moving on you.

Barney sighed. Eventually the dude with the microphone shut up and stopped pointing out basic rules that not only applied to laser tag, but everyday life if you wanted to be around other human beings.

"Don't urinate in the Tag Zone, wear clothing in the Tag Zone, no destroying parts of the Tag Zone or setting it on fire, do not bite other players or staff, do not bring actual weapons into the Tag Zone, no smoking in the Tag Zone, and do not arrive drunk or intoxicated to the Tag Zone." Barney thought he heard some guy in the back giggling at the last one.

Rules guy ended his speech and opened the double doors leading to what he called the, 'Suit up room'. Barney turned to high five Marshall.

Lily was ready to kick butt. She hadn't played laser tag very often, but when she did, it was like she was turned into a super tough fighter chick or something. She'd go after those little boys with a wild look in her eye. She did dive rolls and some serious combat moves. When she was playing, it was every player for themselves. She'd ditch Marshall in a second if that meant scoring some mega points. The gang always wanted her on their team and she knew it wasn't because she was their friend. They feared her. Anyone who'd encountered Lily Aldrin in laser tag before had every right to be scared. Anyone who hadn't, well, bad news then.

Lily sorted it out that the first game, the gang would be on their own team with no one else. There were enough vest colors for it. Ted, Robin, and Marshall were currently arguing over whether blue or red attracted more attention and Barney was checking out the guns.

Bickering on the other side of the room caught her attention.

Four guys and a girl were all arguing about something to do with numbers and teams.

She tried to listen in without being obvious.

The blond woman was trying to break up the heated discussion between the four men. It didn't take her long to figure out the tall skinny guy was the problem.

"If you do the math then you'd see that we're clearly at a disadvantage here. Those people over there," he pointed to a larger group of men and women a few feet away "can score more points for their team than us. If you count up the other teams and the number of people, assuming their all average skill, then we are at 45% to win. If you then take into account that most of us have rarely, if ever, played this game before, we are at…27%. This game is completely flawed and unfair. Which is why I lost to Wil Wheaton."

"Sheldon , it's just a game! Put on the vest and let's get going. I'm not waiting for you. If the game starts, and you're not ready, we're leaving." The blond handed him a green vest.

"We've got two minutes, Sheldon." Said a short man with a turtle neck.

"Why do we have to be green? It makes me think of vomit. I don't want a vomity color, dude! How about blue? It's pretty and it's not gross. Yellow is gross. Yellow makes you have to pee. So does beer. Isn't that odd?"

"Are you drunk, Raj?" the one with glasses asked.

"Nooo…" Raj said nodding his head up and down.

"Lily." Marshall was calling her. They'd decided to go with red vests and she thought it suited perfectly. The red lights shining on their faces gave a kind of meaner look than the blue.

She strapped on the vest and readied her gun as everyone started lining up in front of the door.

Barney was so excited. This place had looked super cool online. The room was supposedly the largest laser tag room in the entire US.

He'd worked it out with the others that they'd all split up and go hunting for the crystals. There were four crystals total. Each one hanging from the ceiling of a tall circular 'closet' type space. There were four of these closets and you had to go search for them among all the other ramps and structures. You earned extra points by shooting the crystal with your gun. A sensor above the doorway would start shooting at you if you weren't quick though. You could shoot a crystal more than once, but you had to wait 40 seconds before the crystal lit back up again.

Barney readied his gun, planning to run and search for one of the crystals as soon as the doors opened.

They all got in line and looking around, he decided to follow after Ted to make sure he was closer to the two men from earlier.

They were right behind him, looking rather scary with their guns and intense expressions. This was pretty serious now.

Penny smirked as she looked over at Sheldon, awkwardly holding the gun and babbling about some physics thing to Leonard, much to the annoyance of the group of people next to him.

The boring guy giving out all the rules from earlier (Larry? George? Marcus? whatever) was now letting one person through at a time. Probably to avoid a stampede or something. She noticed the blond guy from earlier had been ready to run as soon as the door opened, and now he looked quite annoyed.

The line started moving along and Larry (she was positive it was Larry) was getting on her nerves by constantly saying "Next" in this irritating monotone voice. She pictured punching him when her turn came.

Glancing up ahead, the red team were going one by one now. Before running off into the room, the blond guy turned to the two men from before.

"Later, Grampas!" he yelled and saluted them before running off.

The first man looked like he was ready to push over Larry just to get through the door.

Penny craned her neck trying to see over the tall guy's shoulder and into the room. It was pretty dark in there except for a few multicolored lights.

A second later, it was her turn and Larry gave the "ok, you can go". She prepared her gun and ran into the room.


End file.
